You Don’t Need Permission for This

Welcome to Wednesday. Safe moves are officially off the table.

There’s a sentence I want you to start noticing:

“Would it be okay if…”

Would it be okay if I worked from home Friday?

Would it be okay if I moved forward with this?

Would it be okay if I changed the scope?

Would it be okay if I took the lead?

Would it be okay if I said no?

Sometimes you genuinely need permission.

But sometimes?

You already have the authority to make the decision.

And you're asking anyway.

That’s the habit I want us to interrupt this week.

There’s a difference between asking for something you need from someone else and asking someone else to approve a decision that is already yours to make.

The first is an ask.

The second is permission-seeking.

And ambitious women need to know the difference.

Because when you unnecessarily turn your decisions into questions, you hand someone else authority they didn't necessarily have until you gave it to them.

There’s another option:

Assertion.

Assertion doesn't mean being aggressive.

It doesn't mean refusing collaboration.

And it definitely doesn't mean ignoring situations where someone else legitimately holds decision-making authority.

It means knowing when the authority is already yours and speaking accordingly.

In The Brazen Code, I make this distinction:

Permission asks:

Is this okay?

Am I ready enough?

Will this be received well?

Assertion says:

This is what I deliver.

This is how I operate.

This is the position I hold.

The difference isn't volume. It's orientation.

I want you to catch yourself asking for permission once this week.

Before you send the email, Slack message, text, or Teams message, stop.

Ask:

Do I actually need this person's permission, or am I simply uncomfortable making the decision without their approval?

If you need their authority, ask.

If you need their input, get their input.

If you need to coordinate, coordinate.

But if the decision is already yours?

State it.

Instead of:

“Would it be okay if I sent the proposal Thursday?”

Try:

“I’ll send the proposal Thursday.”

Instead of:

“Would you mind if I took the lead on this?”

Try:

“I’m going to take the lead on this.”

Instead of:

“I was wondering if maybe we could keep the project within the original scope?”

Try:

“That falls outside the original scope. I’m happy to price it separately.”

Instead of:

“Would it be okay if I couldn't make that meeting?”

Try:

“I won't be available for that meeting. Send me anything you need me to review beforehand.”

Same woman.

Same decision.

Different orientation to her own authority.

Think about what happens when you unnecessarily phrase a decision as a question.

You create a decision point for the other person.

They can now evaluate it.

Negotiate it.

Modify it.

Or reject it.

Sometimes that's exactly what should happen.

But sometimes you just opened a negotiation that never needed to exist.

This is why language matters.

Not because changing a sentence magically creates power.

Because your language reveals where you believe the power sits.

And when you consistently behave as though someone else holds authority over decisions that are actually yours, you can begin training other people to expect that authority.

The opposite is also true.

Start making the decisions that are yours to make.

This is bigger than removing a few question marks from your emails.

It's about recognizing the difference between permission and coordination.

Powerful women still collaborate.

We ask questions.

We seek expertise.

We consider consequences.

We communicate decisions that affect other people.

We change our minds when better information arrives.

But collaboration does not require you to surrender your authority.

You can consider other people without making them the author of your decisions.

That is the shift.

From:

Can I?

to:

I’ve decided.

From:

Would it be okay?

to:

Here’s what I’m going to do.

From:

What will they think?

to:

What does this situation require from me?

This is what Be Brazen, the second pillar of The Brazen Code, is actually about.

Not being louder.

Not being reckless.

Not performing confidence.

Acting on what you know without automatically waiting for permission.

Brazen Law reinforced: Don't ask permission for decisions that are already yours to make.

Where are you giving someone veto power they don't actually have?

That's today's move.

Know when you're asking. Know when you're deciding. Don't confuse the two.

—Martise
Founder, BrazenEra
Building Project Brazen 2026

P.S. - We are now three weeks away from The Brazen Code.

One of the ideas I keep coming back to as launch gets closer is that being Brazen isn't a personality type.

You don't have to become louder.

You don't have to become fearless.

You don't have to become someone else.

You can just start recognizing the moments when you already know what you need to do and stop automatically handing the decision to someone else.

Put Yourself First is the decision.

Be Brazen is what happens when you act on it.

And Assertion is one of the ways that shift becomes visible.

The Brazen Code isn't just something I want women to read.

It's something I'm proposing we practice.

Become a Founding Reader of The Brazen Code.

One more thing:

Listen for permission language from another woman this week.

If she says:

“Do you think I should…?”

And you can hear that she already knows the answer, don't immediately make the decision for her.

Ask:

“What do you already know you want to do?”

Then let her say it.

Because Huddle Your Teammates isn't about becoming another woman's permission slip.

It's about reminding her that she doesn't need one.

Women like us don't hand away authority we already have.